Doctor Joke

Patient : how about me, doc ?

Dr. :You are having cancer . ..

Patient : What !!! ~crying~

Dr. : Relax .....I'm sure u will stay alive

Patient : Why ....as I know ...nobody alive after having cancer..

Dr. : My lecturer in my University have said before ...." Only one out of ten only will safe from the Canncer"

patient : So,,, what is the relationship between me and the slogan ??

Dr. : You are patient number ten ......so you will safe...

patient : T_T

Science Joke II

You enter the laboratory and see an experiment. How will you know which class is it?

If it's green and wiggles, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's 

Science Joke

Chemist's last words

1) And now the tasting test ...
2) And now shake it a bit ...
3) In which glass was my mineral water?
4) Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
5) And now the detonating gas problem.
6) This is a completely safe experimental setup.
7) Now you can take the protection window away ...
8) Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
9) And now a cigarette ...

Police Joke IV

A hydrogen atom lost its electron and went to the police station to file a missing electron report. He was questioned by the police: "Haven't you just misplaced it somewhere? Are you sure that your electron is really lost?"

"I'm positive." replied the 

Police Joke III

Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket ...

So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"

He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!

So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket!

This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote ...
But hey, I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner ...

Police Joke II

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.

"May I speak to your parents?"
"They're busy."
"Oh. Is anybody else there?"
"The police."
"Can I speak to them?"
"They're busy."
"Oh. Is anybody else there?"
"The firemen."
"Can I speak to them?"
"They're busy."

"So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy? What are they doing?"

                                             "Lookin for me.

Police Joke

A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 feet 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 feet 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!

Driving joke

I was recently riding with a friend of mine. We were coming to a red light, and he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" He tells me this is how his brother drives. We come to another red light, and again, he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" Again, he tells me this is how his brother drives. We come to a green light, and he SLAMS on the brakes. My heart nearly goes into my throat. I shouted at him, "Why do you do that?!" He replied, "You never know, my brother could be coming the other way.

Little johnny joke III

The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living.

One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer.

When it was Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said "My mom's a whore."

Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. Then, 15 minutes later, he returned.

So the teacher asked "Did you tell the principal what you said in class?"

Johnny said, "Yes."

"Well, what did the principal say?"

"He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me a pocket full of lollies and asked for my phone number ..."

Little johnny joke II

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?

Little johnny joke

A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.

The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. He stood  said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."

The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby ... if I can, and I think I can."

The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can ... and I think can!"

Joke of the day IV

Sam: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"

Teacher: "No, of course not."

Sam: "Good, because I didn't do my homework."

Joke of the day III

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?

Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.

Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?

Joseph: The sign said, "SCHOOL AHEAD. GO SLOW!"

Joke of the day II

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?"

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone.

Joke of the day

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!

Now read without the word dog...

The Advantage of 'Hang'

Residen : Sir, we can't defeat malacca...there are 5 Hang that protecting the state..even we much modern than                 them , they have much people that have 'silat'...they also have magician that can cast a spell on us...

Residen general : So..what are u waitin' for...RETREAT!!

Residen : Yes , Sire...but before we leavin' ...where should we go after this?

Residen general : To the place which is a stone throw away from our base...,Kedah..we must get the state before other europeon country get it...especially Turkey

Residen : alright , sire !!

                *************************** After reachin' Kedah *************************
Residen : sire, we're dead ...

Residen General : why?

Residen : there are many 'Hang' here...not 10 , 100...but more than 1000....perhaps sir could change your mind to leave this place....

Residen General : what the....really???...more than thousand!!!ermmm...ermmm...what r u waitin' for leave this place NOWWW!!!

exhausted..

gosh... can't believe i'm tired b-4 da clock hits 12. is this d sign of oldness in me? hope not... better not!! (RED ALERT!! )


i only a 14 years old teen...How can I be too tired like an old man...

anyway, i'm off to bed... 

gud nitez peeps!! 

sweet dreams!!

I wanna go Holiday....

i want a holiday. for the last 6 months, It likes paradise when my parent took us to many places such as Kelantan , Terengganu , Cameron Highlands....etc..I'm tired to do this such thing--->. go to school , back home, do homework ,  go tuition , do homework again/study ,   it's quite amazing for the fact i'm such a lazy person....





experience awesome sunset in Bali






seeing how fast is the pace of Toyko





taking long walks on a countryside in UK




enjoying the slow pace in Perth


 

Swinging from building to next building in New York



But all these things... need time....I can't go anywhere...coz my sister gonna face with UPSR..she use all her free time to study...it is same 4 next year...i'm going to face PMR.....Damn!!!

complains??

the eyes never lies. behind that big genuine smile, proximity that lure a person close to you, it could easily blind one what is right from wrong. and somehow, it's fascinating, the always ignorant one could see through it.

in the world full of lies... how long can one prolong to hold him or herself to be truthful to themselves. one should always long for that, but somehow it is not easy to materialize in this frenzy, manipulative world.

however holy, however pure, we ought to practice bias. and certain prejudice will always tend to float on the surface. it's a laughable stock, when one preach their principle, and not living the way they should be. basically it's just opposing to ones core belief. on the scale of 1-10 for oxymoron, it falls at 10.

Evolution Theory

does evolution theory applicable?

after researches and experiments that has been tested over and over again, it's hard to argue that it's a false claim. furthermore, if it wrong, that would make Darwin look like an idiot.

how do you distinguish between right from wrong, or the other way round. how do you differentiate the superior from the weaker ones following the natural selection process proposed and validated by Darwin himself.

i don't know.

my believe is, it all boils down to the energy and frequency that is or was tuned in by both parties. when both are align, you can talk, joke, make love and babies. as for animals, survival of their species takes centre stage. survival of the fittest remains true, because genetic transmutation and fusion of both strong genes will breed a better offspring. biologically, it makes perfect sense. however, it's just shows that we have a genetic advantage; smarter, fitter, and culturally more advance (where you were born). in a way, it gives you a head start. (if only we know how to take advantage of it).

then again, Chris Langan was tagged as the human with the highest IQ in the U.S. meaning, he's smarter than Einstein. and he lives in a bunk.

yet, from time to time, we heard stories that people defy the odds to become famous, utterly rich, or where they think they deserve to be. we get to hear stories from Oprah shows, or even MLM annual conference.

Sternberg was quoted there are different areas of intelligence besides the common 'book smart' and 'street smart' terms. and he believes that everyone is different, in terms of area we excel in. it's true that some may possess any of the abilities propose by him, yet again, it depends on each individual desire to make the most of the situation given and change things around towards what they ultimately desire (defying odds).

at the end of the day, it boils down to us as to how we want to live, what is the guideline for comfortable, what is joy, where is the bar of superiority that we should chase after. ultimately, it's just the choice that we made through what we really want, that's all the matters.

disclaimer: above is purely personal opinions, that has no scientific backing

Q&A

Question: 


is it difficult to be assertive in most situations? what do you believe people are going to think of you when you act assertively for your own benefit?
Answer: 


Being assertive is definitely going to be hard in most situations. And when we act assertively for own benefit, perception of people will always think otherwise, even though the objective could be entirely good from our part. i guess the first three letter of the word assertive says it all, not being entirely positive, and yet it manage to get the job done most of the time

Lie

it's official. i don't know how to lie. seriously.

look.. i'm dead serious.

stop laughing.... if you are.

i said STOP.

my classmate just said i don't know how to lie. wtf. in a way, is a good thing. at least to me. back to the 'i don't know how to lie' part. seriously, she said i don't know how to.

it's seems like heading nowhere.

brief story: A girl came to our school to join the seminar ( I think she's from another school). and she told me, the only thing we need to know in our study, is to lie. anything else doesn't matter but to lie. geng rite?!?! i sorta expect this kinda thing, since I study in primary school .

long story short, i sorta kena screw, because i didnt know how to lie to my buddies. NS, i was thinking to myself; in that particular situation, there's nothing to lie.

i wonder how they go thru their daily life, leaving one lie after another. 1 thing i can see, is that there's insecurity in their relationship. 1 gal, who's staying with his bf, calls his bf a number of times a day. another gal, also did the same thing, maybe a few lesser calls than the first gal.

nothing to comment. but just wish them good luck.

i understand that, we are trying to protect our own 'rice bowl', there are pressure from the superior, and wateva reasons that we need to lie. but... don't they know where is the limit? what happen if something fucked up. in that situation, i think i'm the one gonna be push out the marching line. and the only thing happen when i turn back is 3 pathetic gals holding their hands, pleading their innocent with their 'innocent' face.
wtf!!! i wiki the word lie, because i wanted to insert into my intro above. but was too engross? pissed? wateva la. turns out that there's so many types of lie.
white lie
bold-face lie
noble lie
emergency lie

just check them urself la.

everybody lies (house, 11)
p/s : Lie is sin...I'm very happy not to have this Lie trait...

What the....

damn...yesterday...on my tuition class (math)..a test was held..during the test..I can't figure out a question which is need a culculator to solve it...I didn't bring mine..so, I ask it from my buddy which was sitting on my left.. he actually a sensitive guy..then he gimme the culculator..suddenly , the teacher saw him...like wanna copy my answer...he scolded him...poor guy...his face just look like a crying baby after being scold..until now..he talk nothing to me...

Ass

sometimes i can just be an ass.... ignoring emotions......
being nice, just ain't easy. maintaining it is even harder.....
no wonder is so damn hard to stay at the top. is lonely, is cold, at times is tormenting. it just strips you apart............
it's so easy to be drawn to the dark side of nature................